week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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