do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
