its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
