I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you made out with another girl for some wings
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize