that's an acceptable place to lick
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
