So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
