Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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