For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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