her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
