I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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