Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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