dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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