Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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