We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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