i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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