i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
