Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
