umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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