Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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