Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
