Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
did i just pee glitter
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize