You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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