break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
