Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
