I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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