great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
