I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
