hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize