and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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