Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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