U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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