Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
