it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
