OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
