Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
