He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sorry about my life...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
