the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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