***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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