so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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