While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
