Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
