I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
