She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
