Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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