guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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