We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
