O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
