Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
