I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
