yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Green mimosas i think yes
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Randomize
