Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
