note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
false alarm, still single
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
