you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
