come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
