just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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