On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
