Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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